Killin' It 078: Chi-town & Zuzu's

For all my lovely friends in Chicago, I will be teaching a class on the Tarot March 17th at Madame Zuzu's in Highland Park. Click here for the facebook invite or the image for Zuzu's calendar. I'll have some prints with me as well, so join me on Sunday for a little tarot and tea.

x to the o,

La Gitana

Pimp My Artwork 067: Strength

I didn't know what would happen when I started painting Strength.  I knew it would be difficult.  The strength card never brings easy situations, it just reminds you that you can handle the difficulties. The original card was a completely different set up, softer, more pink.  There was a story in it but that's not mine to tell.

But it didn't feel right.  I kept painting but telling people that I felt the card would need to be painted over.  It took days, it felt like weeks, but I knew this was all happening for a reason.  Shahriar Shadab was staying with me, fresh in from Australia and we had been talking a lot about cycles.  With the Scorpio full moon ahead of us and the Venus retrograde coming up we knew something big was happening.  Both ruled by Venus we understood that we should take this time to observe, assess, and cleanse.  In a heightened state of sensitivity and cycle breaking I was glad to painting dear friend Kai Altair.

The Strength card is about breaking cycles, addictions, and habits.  She teaches us about willpower and taming the beast within.  She harnesses raw passion and connects to the higher power. Kai has amazing cat energy as they are one of her main totems.  Her incredible calming but inspiring energy became the perfect basis for the card including the turbulent times that were about to happen.

Being a former addict, I have an addictive personality.  If it's not drugs, it's food, internet, work etc.  There's always something that becomes a fixation.  Sometimes it's people, relationships, or a certain pattern.  I began to notice patterns in my own life.  I was worried that I was repeating them.  Shahriar assured me that I was doing a good job of not revisiting old patterns.  I wasn't so sure. 

And one night after a major cleanse I decided that even if something felt slightly familiar it didn't mean I was falling into a pattern.  As long as we acknowledge our past and our cycles we can learn to not only break them but shift that energy into positive actions.  The most important lesson we must learn from Strength is that by pushing or forcing we will never get what we truly desire.  Strength has tamed the lion simply because she was patient, understood the situation, and asked.  This isn't an easy or fast process but with determination and patience you can harness your passions and that direct energy to the universe and create a beautiful partnership. 

The original name for this card is lust.  Lust in passion in it's raw primal form.  By understanding this energy, perhaps even getting burned by it or scratched by it a few times we can come to balance it, harness it and use it for positive action.

As I began to understand this about my own life, the card began to shift as well, allowing me to paint the passion involved.  I posted it a few days later.  Kai sent me this image in return. My Strength card had manifested itself into reality and one of the most passionate and talented souls I know was representing it.

Pimp My Artwork 064: Justice

Strange things happened when painting Justice.  I was supposed to be working on Strength and yet something strange was in the air. There was another card that needed to be made.

 I had become completely obsessed with pictures of Kate Black. This is something I do when I'm about to paint someone, but the odd thing was I was supposed to be painting another card.  But still, I was obsessed.  I liked her profile picture on that odd little social network we all seem to be obsessed with.  I also became obsessed with skittles commercials which was not like me at all.  I don't watch commercials or eat candy. 

The next day I was modeling and thinking and meditating and all of a sudden I was hit with thoughts and feelings about Trayvon Martin.  I knew this because they were not my own, fear, anger, sadness.  Saying things that I wouldn't normally say. Then I got hit with images of James Byrd who was dragged to death years ago in Texas by white supremacists.  While the two cases were not related, there was a common theme. The emotions came flooding in.  For me it's a portal, a message telling me what I'm supposed to be doing.

I couldn't understand why all this was coming to me, the skittles and obsessively looking at my friends images, the visions, and emotions and then it occurred to me.  I was supposed to paint the Justice card.  Sometimes the cards come at you like that.  The energy is right and it needs to be delivered.  I started to feel feverish.   I was getting images for the card, how it was supposed to look, Kate Black, black hoodie, I kept getting the message to check Kate's pictures again.  That the one I needed was there.  I started to walk fast, almost running to the subway.  It's something that happens from time to time when i know I have to do something.  My body gets feverish, my face gets flushed and I have walk, run, just to get my heart to stop pounding and my stomach to stop swirling. I got on the subway, waiting for the train I saw an empty bench.  I sat down.  A black hoodie was hanging off of it.  I said, "Okay I get it." I couldn't figure out why I kept getting the message about the picture. When I got home I found out.  Kate's was wearing a black hoodie in her profile picture.  The next day would mark "Wear your hoodie to work day".

Sometimes the cards smack you in the head and beat you down until you paint them. Justice calls on us to bring balance to our lives, physically, spiritually, and mentally.  She is objective about her decisions and treats each case fairly balancing them on her scale.  Justice is ruled by Libra her sword is double-edged signifying impartiality.  The blade is in the ground signifying the logical thinking used to dispense justice. Her hands are bandaged showing that justice sometimes gives a good fight. She balances the scales in her hand showing the balance of logic and intuition. 

The crow indicates law and truth.  For years crows have been the secret law keepers.  Where there is question you will find crow.  In order to find Justice you must find truth. I always believed Kate would make a great Justice card.  She has been right in the front lines of Occupy Wall Street as well at the Million Hoodie March, Sex Workers Rights, Human Rights, and on and on and on. Justice couldn't have found a better
spokesperson.

As usual this beautiful specimen was taken by Jim Shirey. Who has a new website by the way.  Take a look, you'll spend hours in the magic.

Pimp My Artwork 062: Two of Cups

The week I painted the Two of Cups I got hit in the head with heart shaped helium balloons, found a rose petal path along the sidewalk, a fake flower with an "I love you" note, and two hearts draped over the street light wires.  I'm not going to lie.  Love makes me uncomfortable.  It makes me uncomfortable to write about it, paint it, talk about it, you name it. But I like the Two of Cups.  I like this card because it's about healthy relationships.  My friend Sylvia Payne recently brought this to my attention. Traditionally the Two of Cups depicts a man and woman exchanging what looks to be vows.  His hand is on the cup, the other is reaching to hers.  Both of her hands are on her cup, passing it to him. I had never noticed this.  I took a good long look at my card.  The hands are in shadow but both Kara Clark and Eerie Von are holding their cups with one hand and holding hands with the free ones.  I took a lot of inspiration for this card from their wedding, a beautiful loving event that shows with every photograph. You can see the softer side of each of them. 

When I asked Kara and Eerie to be in the deck I was nervous.  I get that way sometimes when I really respect someone's work and I want them to like mine.  They said yes and my mind was relieved, at least for a moment.  And then all the love came in.

Suddenly my house was filled with roses and heart shaped candles.  I told people I loved them over and over again.  I healed a friendship with an ex and made a new friendship with his girlfriend.  It was all, how do you say? rosy. And then it hit me, to be truly honored, respected, loved and cherish you must first acknowledge and feel it in yourself.  This is one of the many messages of the Two of Cups.  This card is the card of healing, it mends relationships that have tears. A lot of relationships become fractured through self doubt and stress.  The Two of Cups teaches us to love ourselves, to forgive our flaws , and to be the best we can be.  The Two of Cups teaches us to be kind and gentle to ourselves.  This is what attracts that energy to us.  It tells us to leave the past behind and become open to the joy that love brings.

The Two of Cups is the perfect partnership and union, two souls joining in love and trust.  It reassures us that the meaningful relationships in our lives will continue to strengthen and grow.  It shows us the beauty and power that happens when two become one.  It is a nurturing creative card that allows one to be themselves and loved for it.  We create our futures and the two of cups reminds us that as long as you remain kind to yourself and others and work toward a common goal connections will only grow, not fade away.

The flowers in the painting are impatiens pallida (the yellow one), and impatiens capensis (the orange ones). aka jewelweed or touch-me-not.  They are courtesy Jim Shirey of course.  One of the unique features of impatiens is that the seed pods explode under pressure and disturbed thus teaching us to ground, keep calm, and always treat ourselves and others with gentleness and respect. The symbolism of the plant is motherly love.  As the flowers look down upon the couple they give unconditional love, protection (touch me not) and strength.

The snakes represent transformation as well as Damballah ruler of cosmic equilibrium and the mind.  he is the creator.

Kara came to NYC.  It was awesome.

Pimp My Artwork 058: The Hanged Man

At the time I was plotting The Tower an idea was formulating, a little spark was tapping me on the head and whispering into my ear.  "How about Neil for the Hanged Man?" Sxip, my Magician of course heard the call of the tarot and sent me a message. 

When I told him I was thinking of Neil as The Hanged Man he said, "You always make such interesting choices. They all make absolute sense but they are not typical." We discussed The Hanged Man and it's many meanings.  For him it is about "Letting yourself absolutely accept the wisdom to come, even it hard information. It's about giving yourself to the reality of a situation to learn from it. It's about humbling oneself for the sake of knowledge."

I remember the first time I read American God's and feeling like Neil really got Odin, Loki, and the rest of the God's he wrote about.  He may not be spiritually connected to them but he understood them by tapping into a part of his brain that was or at least the archetypes. Part of The Hanged Man's meaning is Odin's sacrifice of himself for knowledge on the World Tree.  For nine days he hung, no food or water, wounded by a spear.  On the ninth day he looked down, saw runes that had fallen from the tree and understood them.  He came down from the tree and picked them up for his own.  Any knowledge needed can be found in these runes.

A few days ago I started another 40 days.  This time instead of going mad, I decided to focus solely on the tarot, it's insights, and paint the cards of the major arcana. Sxip once noticed that I lived each card as I painted them.  This one was no different.  I started the sketch on Sunday and began to work on the card, struggling a bit in the midst of thoughts and procrastination.  For the past few weeks I had gone inward and was seeing the most beautiful aspects of love, life, work, and the muses.  Day 4, the day I finished the card would be my eye opener. When you are in the midst of spiritual bliss nothing seems important, you're open, the past doesn't matter, you're here, it's now, money is just metal and the heart wants to be full.  And then you come down, back into the mundane world, back into reality. 

The night before someone I once cared about very deeply turned their back on me. It was someone that inspired a lot of the deck and it saddened me to see it end this way.  I carried it with me the next morning when once again I awoke to more news about another person, not news that I was necessarily shocked by, but news I wasn't quite ready to hear.  And so began my spiral into reality and delusion. They are quite connected you know.

I cried.  I pushed people away.  I didn't want to connect.  I buried myself in work so I didn't have to think.  I thought about other aspects of this card. "The Traitor." Was this man a traitor? Years ago they would hang them upside down by one foot as punishment. I instantaneously pushed that thought aside looking at Neil's face.  The card I painted was not a traitor and I wasn't sure that my former lover was either.  Only that he had to protect himself and that he thought of me as a temptation.  I was in limbo. I had forgotten The Hanged Man was not about life or death but suspension until the time is right, sacrificing of old ways to let new ones in, and uncovering the reality so that acceptance can happen. Something had just ended but what was to take it's place had not begun yet.  It was in the works and for now I must wait.

I took this photo of what it felt like, kind of like being in a fairytale and not quite knowing who to trust even though you know the ending.

Neptune is the ruler of this card. Neptune is spirituality, dreams and psychic abilities.  The Hanged Man has allowed himself to be taken over by all of these things, in order to receive his insight. He waits with open arms to be born into consciousness and receive the information that is to come.  He knows the knowledge will take him to where he needs to be and by sacrificing himself he will gain much more than ever expected, but sacrifice hurts and in order to receive we must let go.

This is a time when emotions run high, when insights are deep, and you dangle in the realm of fairytale.  It is  also card that suggest at this time being a little daring, trying new things, and letting go a little.  These are moments that won't last forever but they are moments worth listening to.

And of course a huge thank you as always to Jim Shirey who has allowed me to use his gorgeous photos.  The background on these two is straight from Jim himself.

The partridge berry blossoms come two to an ovary. thus, the two small ones are connected to a single berry and leave a double seed scar. They ripen in the winter into a small red berry the size of a small pea. The rattlesnake plantain is named after the appearance of its leaves, which resemble a snake skin. The flower spike produces a profusion to tiny flowers about 1/8 inch across. when i took this shot I was competing with a bumble bee who had her next under one of the leaves. She was very patient at first, but became quite cross when I wanted to do a re-shoot. She zapped me on the arm. Just a bit to let me know my time was up.