A few nights ago I sat on a bench in Battery Park with my favorite Russian Gypsy. As we watched the water from the illuminated seats we talked of our similarities, the tarot, and understanding the shadow side.
Oh the shadow side. The eclipse heightened it a few weeks ago and Saturn in Libra has merely switched it from inner turmoil and psyche to relationship lessons. Our shadow sides bring up fears and insecurities, it makes us want to blame others for our misfortunes or mistakes. It takes over when we're lonely, and guilt trips us into depressions. This may sound like a terrible place to be but it's just another place we must explore on our own paths.
I recently wrote an article on being naked, as in exposed, as a writer, an artist, and a model. In order for us to truly see who we are as creatives and individuals we must travel through our darker realms of subconcious. When I was writing Blood and Pudding I knew it would be painful but I also knew by writing it and putting it out there that I would be able to move on.
I had an lover once that used to make me crack up. We were both light happy people yet both of us created very dark things. For him it was music, and for me it was art. I have some heavy pieces sitting in my house right now. Most of the people who have seen them know me as a happy individual and simply say, "that's looking pretty good. Seems you have a bandage fetish as of late." And I laugh because it's true.
The shadow self is how we deal with negativity and unwanted thoughts. For me, it's through creative means. Because I paint and write heavily it allows me to be lighter emotionally. It doesn't mean I don't have my bad days. I'm a worrier, my moon is in Capricorn you see, but my shadow side works best when I let it have it's own space.
So while these planetary shifts take place, Mercury is in Virgo and Neptune is in Aquarius, take the time to meditate, acknowledge, and let go anything that is holding you down or back. Below are a few images of my shadow side in physical form.
During a recent wonderfully crazy drunken interview with Chelsea Summers, she noticed a small letter "B" necklace around my neck.
"What's that?" She asked.
"Yeah, it's for Brian." And I thought to myself, there's some shadows that are harder to let go than others. But it reminds me that I loved once, and I loved so much that I was willing to do anything for that person. And it tells me that one day I will love like that again.
Chelsea snapped this picture of me outside while we were drinking wine. That is my serious tipsy face.